There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those who can remain friends with their exes and those who cannot. Here's the thing- now I know that after any break up whether it be completely mutual or he's a certifiable bastard with the brain of a gnat everyone needs time apart. But after the dust settles, you have to remember you shared an intimate portion of your life with that person and there's a reason why.
I like to not regret all of my past relationships...now again- I have dated the occasional psycho "what-the-hell-was-that" but it's usually ended in 3 dates or less. I'm talking about the people you have the Long-Term shit with. I don't see a problem maintaining a low-key acquaintanceship (holy shit it's a word!!) with them. In fact, I think they are good acquaintances to have in your court. They know you VERY WELL and know you too are crazy but they can see through all the bullshit and still communicate with you. I actually think they may be the best kind of acquaintances to have!
For example: Cort & I were in Vegas a couple months ago and I saw a B-List celeb in the New York New York. I could remember all this stuff about the guy but couldn't think of his name to save my life. But I knew who would...my ex Justin. So I called Justin and he knew right away. We chatted for a minute about work and life and that was about it. I occasionally still hear from his sister and I think it's great. And we didn't' have the best break up but it was 5 years ago- we're both over it.
Life is fluid and cyclical. Why harbor unnecessary regret? Why burn bridges you can cross in different ways or shut out people you can network with for the rest of your life?
Springer's Final Thoughts: I'm not promoting you contact a psychotic ex you've voluntarily admitted yourself into the "Witness Protection Program" because of (what horrible sentence structure randi!), and I don't' think you should talk to these people everyday, but the occasional email or phone call (like your 2nd cousin in Poughkeepsie,NY) is good, healthy and like I said to have someone that has seen your crazy side and still communicates with you is good to have in your court.
luckily I have Cort in my court too!
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Amen sister. I totally agree with you. I see no reason for steadfast "no ex boyfriend" rules either. I can say that I have certain boyfriends (Dan) that I wouldn't want to talk to anymore than necessary (running into each other at the grocery store--that sort of unplanned unavoidable scenario)but even then, it's not that big of a deal..and I am grateful that I don't get affected or care that I saw him. Then I have boyfriends that I am still friends with and really like to talk to (Justin). In fact I got a Christmas card from his mom yesterday it was sweet and had a long letter inside. Then there are the boyfriends that you really just can't see because there was way too much history and your current partner can't handle it either (Cody). I agree with you, it's nice to not have to carry around the burden of feeling like there are certain people you still have bad blood with. It is also nice to still talk to people that you shared a big chunk of your life with. The bext exes to stay friends with are the ones you didn't actually "love." I am grateful for every one of them and the lessons I learned from them. I learned so much about how to be in a relationship from every single one of them, lessons that have helped me being the most perfect wife in the entire world. enabling me to never ever error or do anything that annoys/angers/or frusterates my husband.
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