Friday, March 30, 2007

why is this happening to me?

Okay, so London is haunting me

I'm dreaming about it every night
I'm analyzing everything in my life to figure out a way to move there. I want to live there....and I want to move there tomorrow.

Let me preface by saying I have never been to Europe and now this is the only place I've been.

What do I have a case of? Someone please diagnose me and assure me it will pass! Or have me take 2 Toffee Crisps and ring you on my mobile in the morning....

I've been drafting speeches in my mind that I'm going to give Quinn when she becomes a teenager about how we will fund her study abroad....SHE HAS TO DO IT!

Vedjen....I'm coming to you for support! Lil veddie did her Masters over in Jolly ole that right Ved?

Monday, March 26, 2007

Disco's back, back again....

Post Nasal Trip Drip

I'm feeling quite...... lame

Here are some promises for you.

1. I promise I will never again make fun of Madonna's fake English accent because I will be using one now too
2. I promise to at least put on real clothes for the next 6 months...the fashion there was OUT OF THIS WORLD .....or should I say out of this country....VERY HIGH QUALITY and it hit me like a maxed out credit card
3. I promise to get pictures up and emailed out as soon as I find an hour by myself
4. I promise in every conversation I will refer to the royal family or Elizabethan history in some way, shape or form
5. I promise I'm going to be less of a big, fat, ignorant American....cuz that's what I felt like over there.

They report worldly news, they mix their tabloids with their real news and they say "is that to stay or take away?"

I'm in love
Beam me back Lizzie .....or Chuck....or even Camilla

Saturday, March 10, 2007


I don't know if it's something about my childhood or how I feel about karma or what but I always force myself to see the shitty side of things or wonder why the shitties aren't happening to me.
For example: Trip to London....kickass muthafuckin trip to London
Inside my brain:
-Why is this happening to us? Why do we deserve this? What gives us the right to take advantage of this opportunity....

I know, I know.....exactly what you're thinking....SHUT UP ALREADY RANDI and take a fucking free trip to London.
But no, it doesn't work that way in my head.

And here's what I'm most concerned about:
I've been looking forward to this trip for at least the past 2 months. We've been preparing for it day in day out. New clothes, new cell phone (or should I say celly....that's what they say right? =) New car- well it wasn't exactly for the trip but Cort wanted to get it before we left....SEE EVERYTHING has been worked around this little trip. So how am I going to feel the day we come back? How do you cope? What a let down! I'm nervous that I'm going to have a breakdown when we get back since I've been looking forward to this for so long.
And that, my cyber mates is my biggest concern right now. Not that I leave on Monday for probably one of the most awesome hook ups in radio history but how will I feel come next Tuesday? Hmmm?

Sidenote: oooh Robin Thicke looks just like his dad....I can't see him as a sex object....sorry...watching VH1...he's like a Waaaaaay too clean cut Justin Timberlake....I feel like I'm waiting for Tracey Gold to walk in on this music video and ask her dad for lunch money and then wait for it.....laugh track.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Don't judge me!

Ahhh how I love to sit on my throne or cushy couch and shout distasteful things at the television during supernanny or wife swap. "these women call themselves MOTHERS?????".
Until this happened....
I'm working nights now and must wake up with my 22 month old alarm clock no matter how much I yearn to cover my ears with Cort's pillow. So my outfit these days consists of sweats, pony tail and shirt from last night. Make up - what's that?
Oh let me throw in this lovely side note. Quinn has developed this wonderful whining shrill that sounds like Chewbacca's little sister stuck in a blender. "UHHHHHHHHH" "UHHHHHHHHH" and she uses it May I have a snack"UHHHHHH", Please turn the TV on mother "UHHHHHHHH", I think I peed in my diaper "UHHHHHH", Please transfer $4000 to my swiss account "UHHHHH". I'm sure you get the picture.
So we are at Target around 11:30a the other day. She has had breakfast, a mid morning snack and is fully clothed holding a sippy. So why oh why you ask is she superbly in a fucking pissed off mood? Well, because she's my daughter and we're in a public place and her mother is looking like complete shit wiped from our main bathroom trash can..(???) So chewy's lil sis right on cue starts in "UHHHHHHHHH". That's when I hang a right into the Target "deli" or whatever that little food/cafe thing is. As I TRY whipping the cart that QUINN PICKED OUT- you know the one I'm talking about. The Kid Cart with the big plastic kid holder in front and the rest of 20 feet of cart attached to that. It's truly comical to watch someone attempt to maneuver these buses through a grocery store.
ANYWAY, the cart IS.NOT.MAKiNG.A.RIGHT..GODDAMNIT. TURN CART TURN! As I'm willing the energy in the cart to just move it's ass, I notice all of the people in the Targe` Cafe` (heehee). Beautiful Blonde mommies, gymboree clad little girls with their hair in smooth shiny pig tails, eating their organic apple sauce, carrying on conversations with their mothers probably discussing the significance of the latin language or military strategy.
I'm starting to pit out and the muscles in or around my elbows are fatiguing trying to TURN THE GODDAMN CART. I notice these women looking at me. And of course Quinn "UHHHHHHHHH" at the top of her well matured lungs. Then I have to do the most embarrassing thing of all. Order Quinn the only thing I know she will definitely eat that will just keep her quiet. Soft Pretzel with butter and salt and a Sierra Mist please...yeah for my not-even-2-year-old. In fact, here, you can just dump out the water in the sippy cup and fill it up with pop. I could feel the stares burning into my 2 day old underwear and 3 inches of armpit hair.
And the mother of the year award goes to.......

Thursday, March 1, 2007

I see London, I see France (maybe)

WARNING: This is kind of a "gushing with excitement" bloggy....

So Cort & I are going to London in about....OH MY GOD....1 1/2 WEEKS! I just looked at a calendar for the first time.
Even though I've begged and begged my husband to find a new job it is his position that has landed him in the position to go to london. A movie producer wants to promote this movie called 'Picadilly Cowboy' and it first premieres in London. He thought it would be a great marketing move to send a DJ from as many radio stations as possible to the premiere to talk about it. The most awesome thing of all is it's a 6 day trip with a ton of other activities thrown in. The other most awesome thing is Cort worked it so I could come along. Apparently we are going to be hanging out with this guy and his wife- who is also going to promote it for SLC.
Anyway, I have a few concerns.....
1. I've never been to London- will the citizens of London be able to pick me out of a crowd miles away and mock my tourist natures and hate me forever?
2. Will I die in a firey crash over?
3. Do they really drink their soda without ice?
4. Will some well trained English child pick pocket me?
5. Can I meet the Queen & or Prince Wills?
6. Should I practice saying things like "jolly well" "cheerio"?