Sunday, October 28, 2007

Reach out & touch me

For me; this all started when Kelly Ripa FREAKED the fuck out when Clay Aiken put his hand over her mouth on Regis & Kelly and she screamed about being touched. We live in a "don't touch me" world.
This is good for some reasons with my 2 year old...we are constantly explaining "good touch" "bad touch" but what is with the rest of this bullshit? Why aren't we touching?
I watched an entire episode of Martha Stewart (okay maybe not an entire episode....but who can seriously sit through that? it's like watching paint dry....really expensive paint that's been applied by a very methodical over-explained heavily sedated retarded person.) Anyway, she had James Lipton on (whom I truly believe has a secret life as a serial killer...a very methodical over-explained heavily sedated retarded serial killer)....A-N-Y-W-A-Y! I watched the two of them for about 20 minutes tango around each other avoiding any sort of physical contact...I mean SERIOUSLY...I could tell at times she wanted to pat him on the hand or nuzzler her mole-y chin into his pubic-y beard. But they avoided each other at all costs. It was really uncomfortable to watch....that--and the show truly sucks donkey butt...really methodical over-explained donkey butt. I guess at least it's not as bad as that other talk show with the really loud, brunette built like a line backer who spends her hour defending her marriage, laughing at her own jokes and cooking the same shit with different names.
But I digress: back to touching
As a psych major in college we studied a lot of monkeys...I mean shit loads of monkeys...throwing their shit loads and the reasons they do it. One of the studies we studied (I know...) was about infant chimps that were separated from their mothers. They were given the choice to either eat with a faux mom made out of cold wire or lie with an imitation chimp made out of warm cloth that never had food. So- EAT or rub yourself against this piece of cloth. All of the chimps chose the cloth mom over food. They preferred the faux physical interaction. There are also several studies done on children that have been physically neglected if you want to depress yourself you can read here. These monkeys and children grow up to have some really bizarre behaviors and can truly never be integrated into a normal social environment.
WITH THAT SAID- Why are we doing this as a society? Are we going to become more socially retarded? Is that even possible?
When anyone has ever asked me my religion- my reply has always been "I just want to hold hands with the children of the world and sing Kumbayah". But is that allowed anymore? What are we afraid of?
Back to my 2 year old- in Pre-school we were pulled aside because Quinn was hugging kids and they are taught not to touch each other. So we had to tell her to keep her hands to herself. I feel bad for her. She was just showing her affection and maybe some kids are not getting that positive interaction at WHY NOT? What's the harm? I know personally I am always all over my kid...there's just something so delicious about a 2 year old....especially mine!
And certain portions of my extended family hug and kiss and are all over each other and I'll tell you mind doesn't have to work over time debating whether it's appropriate to pat those people on the back or slug em for being silly....I always know it's okay.
For the rest eh ya.....keep yer distance!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Time Outs

Quinn just put a ghost candle that I have on the dining room table for decoration in time out. When I asked her why the ghost was in time out she told me he was stupid......if we could all go to time out when we were stupid....the world would be a better place!

Friday, October 5, 2007

Think you REALLY need those Cheetos?

In the past week, the company that supplies all the vending machines to our building has "upgraded" them making everything in them bigger and more expensive. There are no longer .60 cent sodas...everything comes in 20 oz and is a dollar! A DOLLAR! Who keeps money like that lying around? Who HAS that kind of money anymore? I mentioned this to our voice girl in the building and she said in a very announcerish voice "We've got turkey sandwiches...financing available at the front desk"...
I've been begging, borrowing and thinking about stealing spare change off co-workers' desks just so I can get a GOD DAMNED CHERRY COKE! I'm pregnant for God's sake....who's cruel joke is this? Pregnant AND broke!
No one has received a raise this year so why the swanky new food? hmm?
I wonder if my company gets a cut of all the profits, I'm sure that's part of the deal right? So pay us less and then not only take our time, dignity and pride away from us but make sure you grab that extra .40 cents on your way out now too....
As it stands right now I'm all out of ones.....and my ass is a bit sore.