Back in the days of yore or B.Q. (Before Quinn), I could roll out of bed WHENEVER, lie on the couch for a good hour or two, drink a latte and ponder life. Then I had a child. Pooping is the only thing I can do on my own time now...and 90% of the time I have a visitor in the bathroom with me. That visitor usually wants to discuss my crotch or belly button or the freckles on my legs. So showering has become a partnership event as well. Again, let me paint a beautiful picture of a woman who used to take 45 minute long showers. Making sure every leg hair had been shaved, eye make up completely removed, conditioner evenly distributed and every inch of her body loofa'd. And sometimes she'd just stand in there and mentally organize her day.
So here's what happens now: I decide at 8:30a in the morning that eventually today I want to get a shower in, because in most cases it's been a few days.
SO- by 10:30a...I'm getting excited thinking it may actually happen.
I relocate the baby monitor from her bedroom to the living room.
I turn on a fantastic episode of Blues Clues, fan an array of expensive toys out on the colorful foam letters that now take up my living room and sit one little girl on her princess couch with a binky, full sippy cup, and a bowl of gold fish crackers.
Then I tip toe into the bathroom, leave the door open a crack and get to business.
NO MORE THAN 2 1/2 minutes later-
I have a blue eyed binky monster staring at me "WHAT DOIN?" and from here there is dialogue until....well until she's tucked in that night. During this time though, we go back and forth- she shoves something through the shower curtain and I respond "no no, put that away" and this goes on and on...
This is where the 15 second shower kicks in. I usually get 1/2 a leg shaved- forget it I'll do it later. My face gets a once over, conditioner is a joke, loofa- what's that?
In Quinn's 15 seconds- she has found an old razor in the garbage and is using it on her cheek, poured an entire bottle of Pantene Pro-V in her potty chair and also on her cheeks and in her hair, dumped the box of Q-tips and shoving each one into her ears, found some old make up and has brown eye shadow on her chin, AND finally thrown half a roll of toilet paper into the commode.
Perhaps I should conquer the 7 second shower.....
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4 comments:
Maybe you should consider the "15 second bath". That way they (and I do mean THEY, since there usually is a toy or two). You could have a lovely bonding moment and you could both come out sparkling clean. The upside is that you may get some laundry done as well since your bathing companion is so excited about joining you that often clothes are left on. The downside is that this doesn't help with conditioning your hair (Pantene makes one heck of a 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner for those few times you have the opportunity to dunk your head under the water), or with shaving your legs (tell Cort excess leg hair keeps you ALL warmer, thereby lower your heating bills) and don't even consider loofa'ing (but with all that leg hair, who would notice your dry and flaky skin?)
All too soon you will be able to shower, shave and sh.... poop, in peace and quiet... You will be smooth and moisterized and conditioned... but you will be a tiny bit lonely.
My showers either happen before she wakes up, when she is down for a nap (IF that ever happens) or with her in the shower with me! We both get clean, usually with Johnson and Johnson, and she will scream the whole time she is put down while I scrub my hair, BUT she is with me, so she is happy. Riley, however, my wonderful boy, plays computer while I shower, or else watches TV or reads and barely notices I am gone! Soon enough I will have 2 shower companions! OR perhaps they will keep each other busy!
Excess leg hair is definitely needed in the winter, keeps socks up! Pooping alone is over rated...when they come in and hang out, gives you something to do besides read.
Isn't it nice to be needed????
Yes yes the 15 second anything...oh the memories!!! I remember spending more time setting them up to be alone while you shower or poop then they are actually enjoying your hard work! When you want them to cuddle and love they are too busy doing something else, but when you want to slip away for a moment of cleanliness they can't be alone for a moment. How soon the time flies though Randi/Katie, just remember that all too soon the kids will be all grown up and you will have all the time in the world to shave and shower and be lonely!
Oh the things to look forward to!
Right now, the only obstacle between me and the shower is our cat. She likes to play in the running tub water and although it is hilarious to watch her get soaked, I am tired of being hairier after I shower than I was before.
Too much info?
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