After we came home, it felt like a whirlwind holy-crap-quinn-starts-kindergarten-soon-are-we-ready? I guess because the day after we returned was Quinn's registration and then from there I can't remember much...and here we are Sept. 4th...labor day weekend.
This whole Kindergarten experience has been quite a ride for me. I'm not quite sure where I fit into the public school scheme of things...and boy oh boy do I like to fit in.
Like when can I start to become real 'friendsy' with her teacher so I can keep an eye on all classroom stuff? When can I volunteer everyday? When's the next PTA meeting?
I want to know everything about everything and I feel like right now they are trying to keep all of us over-protective and/or overwhelming parents at arm's length. If I could pull a chair up to quinn's name-tagged desk and hang out the entire 3 hours, I would be there...fixing her backward 9s and Js. I'd let her know not to talk to that girl with the perfectly coiffed hair because I've already sized up her mom and she thinks she is somethin she's definitely not. And I'd tell her that I think she is amazing and I love all of the artwork she brings home and it would be great if she could just stay this age for like 10 more years.
She was in pre-school just 3 1/2 months ago. Where there were 70 kids in the entire school and everyone knew her name. And they would let her get up toward the end of class and perform a Hannah Montana song and dance and the director of the school would come eat snack with her and tell her how wonderful she is. I had her preschool teacher's cell number. We met at Wheeler Farm and played. Her preschool had a thumbprint access code system in order to enter the building. There were surveillance cameras everywhere. Parents were not allowed to volunteer because they didn't want the liability.
Cut to now: Everyday at 12:35p, I drop her outside at the playground with the playground attendant. Who I've never met, never seen before in my life and I'm supposed to drop my little 5 year old off at this new school with this complete stranger and get in my car and drive away. Everyday, I'm left wondering- will she be there when I return?
Wednesday she came home with a worksheet she had done. There was some cutting and pasting involved and I noticed an entire row of dried glue circles with nothing attached. I pointed and asked, "What was here?" and she said "Oh I did it silly and had to redo it". I could feel my face heat up imagining she was told she did it wrong and had to redo her little assignment....at 5 years old....in Kindergarten. I wanted to cry. Quinn didn't care so I didn't say a word but I wanted so badly to send her flying right back to preschool where every assignment is a wonderful expression of who you are! Gold Stars and A + for everyone!
I know I can't keep her sheltered forever. The real world will come knocking sooner or later... but if I could find a way to board up the door, I just may start hammering in nails :)
(art by Quinn: 1st Kindergarten assignment "I"- create a collage of all the things I can do by myself)