Suicide Tuesday

When you take Ecstasy on a Friday or Saturday night you usually feel the side effects or coming down from being so high and happy on Tuesday...this has been nicknamed Suicide Tuesday....This is when reality usually sets back in and all of those strangers you made out with creep to the front of your mind and "What the hell did I do? OH MY GOD....How long before I can show my face in public again" these words are repeatedly muttered in your very very unfortunately lucid consciousness.....then throw in a POUNDING headache that won't leave even with a quad mochaccino or Vicodin.....

Very comparable to the few days right after Christmas.....
You've financially ejaculated all over the season and have nothing left to get you through the rest of Dec. So everyone is depressed; hiding behind the leftover cordial cherries and wishing they hadn't promised that Abercrombie & Fitch sweater a nice, warm home. Not only are you broke but your house is a complete disaster...with shreds of left over wrapping paper, miscellaneous parts to gadgets you didn't realize Santa gave you, and nowhere to put any of it. "Do I remove the coffee pot to make room for the new Extreme Tickle Me George Foreman Grill?"

Our house looks like there was a Disney Princess Orgy just getting started, King Triton came home unexpectedly, broke the whole thing up and everyone left in a hurry; leaving most of their crap behind ...oh and throw a cabbage patch doll in the mix.
a pink, lacy, royal site.

So now what? I personally start looking forward to Martin Luther King Day, President's Day and the day after one of our annual events here- a Radio Telethon...
So whatever helps you survive Suicide Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday...whether it be random Monday holidays, knowing you won't go in debt again for another 11 months or that you're becoming a Jehovah's witness.....I see nothing wrong with a little mental & emotional management...or flat out lies you tell yourself to cope...

There's no hot line number to call where someone will talk you down from the Christmas tree or prevent you from slitting your wrist with a broken angel ornament.....

Tis the Season Gimme Gimme

Why is it that Christmas brings out the most greedy people? Or maybe they save up all year long and then "let'er rip" Dec. 1st and on.....
As most of you know what I do all day long....let me fill you in on the part I try to forget about it.
I have to be nice....YES ME! I have to PRETEND to be nice....and it takes every inch of my stretched out, tired and artificially enhanced body to not tell them to FUCK OFF after about 5 seconds of listening to their bullshit stories....
Did you realize that EVERYONE in Utah is down on their luck this year. They have nothing....and because they have nothing- not a pot to piss in- they want concert tickets or concert flyaways...

Redneck Math
Kidney Failure + Country Radio Station = Free Brad Paisley Tickets
Dead Baby + Country Radio Station = $100 Gift Card to Walmart

I'm sorry to be so cynical and ruthless, but I hear these stories 100 times a day. Why have they waited so long to do anything...P.S. McDonald's is STILL HIRING...

I watched a local television station "Grant a Christmas wish" by showing up at this family's house unexpectedly and bring them gifts. When the reporter asked the 10 yr old boy what he wanted for Christmas...expecting this to be her shining moment where her station could take this piece of the bit to use in the Holiday promo ...what do you think he said?
He said "I want a PS3"......
OH SNAP!
Welcome to Utah or to America...which is it?