Word Droppers

When I was in junior high my Dad started a "Word of the Day" for my brother and I. Each morning my brother & I would wake up to see a new word and it's definition posted on our cereal cupboard. Unfortunately, I believe word #3 was the last to post in front of the Wheaties.....the first one and the only one I remember is Marsupial.
I am a college graduate but I think my vocabulary leaves a lot of room for improvement and by a lot I mean PATHETICALLY....A LOT! Almost 30 years old and I still ask "what does that mean?'
ANYWAY, in the wide world of conversation there are word droppers and name droppers......
I don't really mind name droppers, in fact, I embrace them I love hearing about Jared Leto and his enormous ego and Lindsay Lohan and her whatever....I love it. I think people love hearing about Sugar Ray Leonard and how he felt me up (true story). But what turns me off is word droppers. These are the people that will drop a huge word into their conversation to show......something....intelligence....vast vocabulary....or the fact they are attempting to use it in the right context....which is almost never right.

Someone I work with attempts to do this all the time. All it does it allow me to leave their office with a solemn glow on my face realizing they have completely used the words "retro fit" in the wrong context....
Don't try to woooo me with your vocab.....most of the time I won't understand what you're trying to say anyway, isn't there another way you can show me how cool you are? Perhaps whip out your dick and a ruler? Or recite all 50 state capitals?

ME

Once in ballet class (I had to have been about 10 or 11 years old) one of the older girls giggled and said "we think you look like Stephanie on Full House". I didn't know how to take it, I was older than the girl playing Stephanie on Full House so I thought "they must think I look like a little girl". That began my apprehensions about looking like celebrities.

However, during my early 20's I got "you look like Jewel" and I was okay with that, I enjoyed her music and appreciated her fabricated rags to riches story. (If someone could explain to me how you live out of your van and date Sean Penn at the same time that would be great).

Then in my late 20's "you look like Lindsay Lohan" (great, again no problems with looking like a panty free 19 year old train wreck)

But the latest and greatest? I'm sitting at the Radiothon this weekend not minding my own business as usual and this girl comes up and says "you know who you look like? Tatum O'Neal"....WHATHAFUH? Never mind the fact the woman is in her 40's and been ridden hard & put away wet....seriously!! the colleague I was sitting by attempted to run interference...apparently the look on my face clearly responded (I guess that's what they mean by body language). The saddest thing about the whole situation is that I had taken time to wear a half way decent outfit and I had done my hair & make up.

So in the past few days I've had time to ponder this comment or consciously and subconsciously dwell/stress about my looks and if I look tons older than I should. maybe I do look like her- I can't see the resemblance, the only thing I see is that really bad television show that's played on one of our local channels late late on weeknights called "Wicked" that Miss O'Neal stars in and her wrinkled up face and bright (too bright) red lipstick.

I cannot stand by and watch another great show walk right out of my life

Cort shared a theory with me yesterday that Studio 60 will be cancelled at the end of this 1st season and the only reason it was picked up was because the pilot was captivating.....I agree.
In fact I think that TV execs got a kick out of it because it's so close to reality.
I refuse to stand by and watch another show I LOVE be cancelled. Studio 60 has great writing and for those of you that enjoy a little romance it has that too!
Arrested Development (RIP)( *tear*) was one of the most intelligent shows EVER WRITTEN!! I truly believe that! And look how FOX fucked that one up...seriously...how can you screw with such good writing? How can you deny Tobias Funke`and his never nudes?
I L.O.V.E. Studio 60....well, maybe love is a strong word....I think Studio 60 is pretty hot and wouldn't mind a NCMO (in Utah talk that's Non-comm ital Make-Out)....and maybe just maybe it might turn into something more long term but how would I ever know if it was ripped from my bosom before I was done.
So let's all work together to stop Terrorism and keep my show on the air
Every time NBC cancels a show an angel gets it's 401K

I am too old for Myspace

I know this much is true...and I really do accept it, but it's not a matter of acceptance, it's a matter of voyeurism....I love to lurk on people's myspace page....
But I digress...I will be 30 this year and last Sunday as I was trying on pants in the Macy's dressing room there were 3 teenage girls doing the same. Except they were trying on these really slinky dresses - not expensive enough to be a prom dress, more like "I'm hitting the clubs with Paris & Britney tonight (PANTY FREE IN 93!)"
Anywho, so squeals and "You look Like totally hot in that Kaitlyn" "OMG TAYLOR MADISON, you look so sexy" are coming from the dressing room....and I'm just laughing to myself fondly remembering my own "let's head to the Bon and try on dresses" adolescence.

When I finish trying on the oh so exciting black slacks, I head out of the fitting room, only to walk down the hall to see them standing out there taking pictures of each other in these dresses with their pink razor phones.

AND THEN I HEAR "Taylor this will be a super cute myspace picture for you"

Seacrest out!

Drive Thru Diagnosis

Yes we are a culture that is only concerned with the here and now and what can you do for me. I'm aware of that and I accept it like any other Middle Class American- by ordering the #2 Super sized, having my oil changed at the jiffy lube and making sure my roots get touched up every 6 weeks.
When it comes to my kid I want it even more. Here's what I'm getting at....I L.O.V.E. Quinn's Dr.'s office. I love everyone that works there, I love their personalities, I love their diagnostic decisions, concerns, etc. What I don't love is how I feel like I have to write a 10 slide power point presentation arguing the reasons she needs to get in.
I'm a first time mom and would really appreciate a little hand holding these first years....is there something wrong with that? Seriously? I'm asking?
It seems like in the beginning right after she was born they were really cool with me coming in a ton and I was grateful. But let's be honest- we sing our ABCs, we count 1-10 but I have NO idea what I'm doing as far as health goes. Other than surfing the web to find out when well baby check ups should be and what Hand, Foot & Mouth looks like, I'm clueless.
I just feel like every time I call, I'm a huge distraction, like they are barely able to "SQUEEZE me in or have this 5 second conversation with me".
When Cort had his car accident the EMTs at the scene said he should go directly to his family dr. for a complete check up.....I called them and couldn't get him in and I even explained to them what happened "sorry, there's no openings for 3 days".
I'm old enough to know Grass is never greener on the other side but believe me I've debated finding another dr. a million times. They are only 2 blocks away from our house though, so I've been able to walk home before. And like I said when I do get in they are wonderful and I share all of their same beliefs in medicine and treatment and blah blah blah....

I don't know if I'm way off base or if this is a common occurrence with everyone or what!

Signed,
Medical Mystery in Millcreek

Swearing

I love to swear.

It's liberating, it's powerful, it's emotional .....it's the best when you can't think of another word. (or could be best when holding a machete)

My husband likes to warn people "she swears" or warn me "just watch your language in front of them".... In fact the other day I was telling someone I had this blog and he interjected"beware, she swears on it"

I can see how on a little kid it's alarming (or really damn funny) i giggle when Quinn says shit And on your Grandma it can be disturbing...(again I think it's really funny)...love love when Great Nana says "bloody hell" (she's Canadian)

So maybe that's my problem, I think it's pretty entertaining when I hear someone swear. What I don't like is when people use really graphic, gross swear words that make you cringe when you hear them....I only like your everyday typical swear words. Or if someone is screaming in your face and swearing...that's a bit of a turn off as well.

Maybe I only enjoy swearing on my terms? Plus I think it's important to be witty with your swearing.

so, Fuck off already

P.S. If you too enjoy swearing, you should check out James Gunn's blog (he is a screenwriter and husband to Jenna Fisher who plays Pam on The Office) some of the best swearing sarcasm and wit I've ever read!!

Kid Peeves

I don't why I have this problem, but if I see people at the grocery store at like 10p and they have their little kid with them (12 yrs & under) I immediately judge them! HORRIBLE PARENT TO THE LEFT....I want to get on the store intercom and have an intervention with all of the store employees. Really though I want to rush home and talk shit about them with Cort.

I dont' know why I'm so extreme about it. But this leads me to the next thing- I work late now and the phone calls I get from 6, 7 & 8 year olds at 11:30p...I'm like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP STILL!!!". Where the hell are their parents???

Disclaimer: Now I have a child that doesn't keep a sleep schedule to save her life (or my sanity)and I totally understand the occasional "oh shit, we have no milk for tomorrow morning".
But I think little ones should have their bath and be in pjs by at least 8:30-9p.

The other thing I can't stand is seeing a toddler down a Diet Coke & Snickers in their stroller....And once again it could be Mom is on her last nerve and this child won't shut up....who knows...I just hear the dentists voice in my head from my last visit telling me little ones get cavities all of the time because baby teeth are extremely porous...I was at an "event" a few weeks ago and there was a little girl there the same age as Quinn and her mom fed her 2 Squeeze It's and a roll of those gummy life savers...

I'm pretty judgemental